&fic;

 

The Time to be Just Friends

by sugargroupie

PG, 1181 words

Summary: he'd justified their actions as being something that actors did.

Disclaimer: This portrayal is entirely fictional.

Notes: Nobody to blame but myself for this story. Feedback is appreciated, thanks.

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

He missed her first call because of auditions, which was pretty normal as of late, and a regular occurrence when it came to he and Claudia. Since wrapping the final season of Stargate, it seemed like all they ever did was play phone tag.

Still, Ben was hesitant to check his messages once he was free. So he made other calls and ran a few errands before heading home.

His thumb unconsciously rested on the speed dial button for his voicemail, but he never pressed down. Instead, he thought about hearing her voice and the content of her message on the entire drive home.

*

Later that evening, Ben shut himself away in his office to listen to Claudia's message.

"For god's sake Ben," Claudia began, and a grin immediately bloomed on his face. "We live in the same city again, it shouldn't be this difficult to ring each other." She sighed audibly before continuing. "But, guess who's able to make it to Burbank this year? Call me up so we can share details. Tell Fran and the kids hello for me."

The message ended with a click and returned back to the voicemail menu. Ben made sure to save the message and shut off the phone, tapping his fingers on the desk. Then he took a deep breath, picked up his office phone from its cradle and dialed her number from memory.

*

They talked for almost an hour and it was just like old times.

Not nearly as fun as catching up in person, but the rush of affection he felt was just the same. To both their disappointment, they discovered that their schedules allowed them to attend the Farscape convention on separate days. He waited for Claudia to make a pithy remark in response but she said nothing. Ben opted for sincerity. "Damn Claude, I was looking forward to sharing the stage with you again."

Claudia scoffed, "Darling, that stage isn't big enough for me, you and your ego."

"Ouch," he replied, but he knew she was teasing him. That's what they did, and he'd missed it.

"But it would've been fun, right?" He could hear the laughter in her voice and let out a short deep laugh of his own. Claudia hummed in return.

"Yeah, it would have," he finally murmured. "But maybe it's for the best. If I'm remembering correctly, you got the majority of the questions anyway."

"Well, someone has to make you look good at these things."

Ben shift in his chair, leaning more comfortably against the leather back. "Only you, Claude. Only you."

And with that, they both fell silent. Ben shook his head, wondering how such a seemingly innocent response could carry such weight. He wondered how he could reopen doors thought closed long ago because he talked too damn much.

Then, he startled at that thought, because he and Claudia hadn't done anything wrong. Not all those years ago during Farscape, not with the bittersweet reunion for Stargate, and they sure as hell hadn't right now.

But he'd thought about it. Hell, they'd talked about it once, maybe several times; their tongues got a little too loose for comfort when they drank around each other. At the time, Ben had justified their actions as being something that actors did. They shared too much information and then used it on set to their advantage; filtered the want and need through their characters. It'd worked beautifully.

And that was also the problem, Ben realized. They couldn't take back those conversations or wishful thoughts, even knowing they should, because they didn't want to do either.

Breaking the silence, he cleared his throat. "Like I said, maybe it's for the best."

Claudia made a non-committal noise and changed the topic.

* * *

As the weeks -- then months -- passed, they spoke more frequently on the phone, sometimes more than once a day. However, as if by some unspoken rule, they never made plans to get together. Ben never questioned the reason, knowing whatever answer he gave would've been a lie.

* * *

Ben had just given a few short interviews back-to-back at the Saturn Awards when he saw her. Claudia had called him a week beforehand, so he knew there was a possibility she would show. He smiled weakly and gave her a little wave as she posed for the press, tried his damndest not to stare.

She looked beautiful, of course, smiling widely at him as she and Fran hugged briefly. There were calls for Ben and Claudia to pose together for photos, and Ben stepped carefully to her side, wrapping his arm around her small waist. He couldn't resist whispering in her ear, "you looking good girl, how're those babies of yours?"

If it was possible, her smile got larger as she leaned into his embrace. "Fantastic. Beautiful."

"Of course they are," he said softly, dutifully ignoring the way Claudia's spine straightened at his words. He turned his attention to the cameras, focusing on a single point of nothing to avoid being blinded by the flashes.

At that moment, Ben was reminded that the less they were around each other physically, the better friends they made. It just wasn't right to want a friend the way he sometimes wanted her.

* * *

They played phone tag again over the next two weeks. Ben had finally had time to return another one of Claudia's calls on a Thursday evening, tapping his fingers on his steering wheel impatiently. Her phone went to voicemail, and he hesitated a moment before hanging up. Ben dialed her number again.

"Hello," she answered on the third ring.

His smile was immediate. "You are the hardest woman to track down, you know that?"

"Says you," she laughed.

"It's good to hear your voice, stranger."

"You too. What've you been up to?"

Ben glanced around quickly at his surroundings. He was sitting in his car in a half-full parking lot of a major production company. He didn't give much thought as to why he'd felt the need to call her right then instead of waiting until he got home, but now that he was talking to Claudia he didn't want to drive just yet. "Oh you know, the usual," he answered.

"Good," Claudia said. "So listen, while I've got you on the phone, what do you say about having lunch next week?"

This was Ben's chance to make an excuse, or use a perfectly valid appointment to skirt having to answer her question. We shouldn't, he thought. I shouldn't. "I say yes, that's a good idea." He felt as though his mouth was acting independently from his brain and he couldn't stop the deluge of words and images sparked by his answer. But more importantly, he didn't want to.

Maybe it's for the best wasn't working for them. Maybe they'd have to set new boundaries, or step outside the current lines just this once to see what would happen. At least they'd know, and for Ben, his friendship with Claudia was too important not to try.

*

e n d